Men don't let other people determine their self worth

A fully developed man doesn't let other people determine his self worth.

This isn't to say that a man isn't aware of what other people think and adjusts to what they think, but he has an inner strength of character that that does not let other people's opinions affect his opinion of himself.  This idea is born from the dominance hierarchy and the survival instinct men have to be an alpha male.  The independence of not having one's self esteem or actions guided by the opinions of others is an essential skill for navigating the group dynamics in dominance hierarchy ascension.  When properly expressed, not caring what other people think is manifested as confidence, decisiveness, and perseverance.  "I understand you think XYZ, but I think ABC - so I'm going to follow my gut and do ABC."  Alpha males are leaders.

In order to ascend a dominance hierarchy, a man must push toward his goals without fear of upsetting others.  By letting social dynamics affect a person's actions, he is no longer on the optimal path towards rising in the dominance hierarchy.  This same confidence that a man uses to climb the dominance hierarchy also keeps him there.

Examples:

• A man cannot listen to doubters when starting a business.  An inner strength of character pushes the man towards his goals without letting skeptics adjust his vision.  
• A man approaches a person he is attracted without fear of social consequences (friends or society telling him that the person is out of his league or a chance of failure should preclude the approach).  The confidence in a man's own internal goal compass supersedes the opinions of others.
• A man speaks his mind in regard to how he feels.  Group dynamics don't dissuade a man from speaking his truth.  His personal integrity is more important than being liked.  

Not letting others' opinions of a man's worth is not a universal male trait, but it highly correlates with how evolution intended for men to behave.  Men can be deeply concerned with what other people think.  And women can be completely unconcerned with what others think.  But men's biology (specifically - the dominance hierarchy) stretching back millions of years fits us a certain way.

I fully believe everything I wrote above.  Not only does evolutionary psychology back it up, but as a man, I can feel, in a way that I can't easily express, that these feelings are tightly interwoven with my gender.  But everything above can also apply to women.  So why differentiate and say these are male characteristics?  I struggle with this myself. 

I argue that the idea of not letting one's self worth be affected by others is the masculine.  Noting that men and women both contain masculine and feminine energy - with men likely to hold more masculine energy and women more likely to hold feminine energy, it makes sense that my masculine core would align more with this idea.  Feminine energy, a more communal energy, is more involved with the group dynamic and making sure the collective is served.  In this way, a person with a feminine core would be more likely to have his or her self worth affected by other people's opinions.  I don't feel called to answer how this works with women - how biology, evolution, and personality characteristics defined the natural instinct for how women interact with others and how they overcome it to value their self worth.  My priority is men.  I speak confidently that a developed man with a masculine core does not let others determine his self worth.

The topics I covered in this post are characteristics we should be instilling in our boys, and we do less and less of that.  The character that comes from this foundational perspective becomes confidence, backbone, strength, will, drive, power - biological instincts a million years in the making.