Men have an open heart and an iron backbone

A healthy man has an open heart and a iron backbone.  These two are not mutually exclusive at all, and they really have very little to do with each other. 

The open heart is generally the more feminine essence.  It's openness, kindness, understanding.  It's empathy, joy, laughter.  The open heart is our higher essence - the more evolved part of us that wants to share love with the world. 

The iron backbone is generally the more masculine essence.  It's confrontation, powerful, raw.  It's directness, determination, responsibility.  The iron backbone is our lower essence - the part of us that takes a stand and goes after what we want. 

Men need both an open heart and an iron backbone.  The iron backbone as I described it sounds dark, but it has to be.  I see the iron backbone as serving two primary, essential functions.  These functions come from millions of years of evolution, and they form a symbiotic relationship with an iron backbone.  The functions require an iron backbone and an iron backbone requires these two functions. The functions are boundaries and perseverance.

Men set boundaries.  It's an essential part of what men do.  "You can go up to this point, but no farther."  Boundaries order the world.  There must be a differentiation of where one thing stops and another begins.  This is my family's food, do not touch it.  This is my land, do not take/use it.  This is an agreed upon set of behaviors, do not violate them.  Boundaries are sometimes enforced with violence.  This is unavoidable.  If two people are in a conflict, and one of them is willing to be violent, and one of them is not - the violent person will be victorious.  The iron backbone serves here by being the physical, violent backstop that a man knows he must have in enforcing boundaries if the situation requires it.  Not every situation requires violence, in fact most don't - but the potential needs to be there.  If a man is not willing to enforce a boundary, then it's not a boundary.

Men persevere through hard situations.  Men push through discomfort.  Men fight through hardship.  In doing so, men use their iron backbone.  Life is full of difficulty, and it requires strength of character to press through the pain.  This is the front lines of a war.  This is climbing a mountain.  This is working 70 hours because you have to feed your family.  It is pouring blood, sweat, and tears into your work, your passion, your pain.  It's the drive to let nothing stand in the way of the goal.  It's standing in the arena and facing whatever comes at you and standing their bravely.

I concentrated this post on the iron backbone.  The iron backbone is what today's boys are missing.  The iron backbone comes from a lot of different sources, but it's a primarily masculine aspect of men and boys.  It's something that we need boys and men to have to become well rounded men.